It's Friday! And I got....

umm. Nothing.  Even less nothing than usual.  Zero. Zip.  It's rainy and cold and gray - I thought I'd given up that weather when I left Michigan - and I have to head to yet another  national meeting for the Huge McNorm tomorrow, then back to HQ until Wednesday.

Honestly, I just want to curl up with some pumpkin spice cake doughnuts until the end of something - time or season, I can't decide which - and read until my eyes fall out.

And then I want to spring into action, my new business plan for HM fully formed, with at least 30 new collage pieces actually finished (not just brewing in my head) and THIN.  

Yes, once again - if I were only thin again.  Everything would be better.  The Dow would go up as my waistline went down, the economy would be humming, and my black dog would be off to permanent doggy camp.

But at least I'm niiiiiiiiice.

Mmmmm.....doughnuts....oops.  Just a brief brain break.

I was reading a post by Gwen at Woman on the Verge about children noise - go ahead.  Read it and then come back.  I'll wait.  She's good.

(ticktockticktock)

You're back?  Ok - so as I was reading it, I was thinking that noisy children don't seem to be bothering me at the moment.....and then a noise from downstairs made me realize that I have my own noisy child - M, downstairs, watching tv.  He has this really REALLY annoying habit that I like to call Swirl, Slide and Crunch.  It involves a big pile of ice in a large plastic cup with just enough water/soda so that he can swirl the ice 4/5/8 times, throw back the cup and slide the whole icy mess back, snag an ice cube, slide the cubes back into the cup, and then crunch the ice really quickly and loudly.

Every 30 seconds.  SwirlswirlswirlSLIIIIIIIDEcrunchcrunchcrunch.  (obligatory caveat - love the man completely, would miss him and the noise if he were gone, shouldn't complain, good guy,  REALLY NICE blah blah)  swirlswirlswirlSLIIIIIIIIIIIIDEcrunchcrunchcrunch.

  Should hydration really be that dramatic?  

Happy weekend everyone!

When is it ok to be me?

I think I'm creative, even though I won't be featured in the Met anytime soon, nor will I ever hit a record number of sales with my art anytime soon.

I think I'm funny, even though I could never do standup.

I think I'm a good person, even if I have to be Corporate Lulu at work, and some people don't like it when I make them follow the plan...

I think I'm a good sibling and daughter and mom, even though my family life is challenged.

So why don't I ever post how I really feel about politics, or work or my family?  Because my mom taught me that it's best really, to be nice.

Nice.   Niiiiiiiice.  Nissssssse. nicenicenicenice.  A good girl, a nice woman.  Oh Lulu?  Ohhhhh...she's so so nice.

(Ummmm.  Not really, but it's hard to out myself - my mom will NEVER ever see this blog, but I have that fear that someday, someone from work or family will stumble upon my little part of the sandbar and then - they'll KNOW that I'm not nice at all.)

I started this blog to find creative, funny people to talk with, and it feels as if I'm still hiding behind my nice facade, and what I have to say is so uninteresting because I'm too nice.   I also started it to talk about Etsy and art and creativity and stuff, and I find myself more worried about creating ART THAT WILL SELL.

wow...the black dog is shaking me all over the room tonight!!

If only I were thin.  Sighhhh...

Wait - that's another post entirely.

:)

Happy Sunday anyway!  Amazing Race is on tonight, so maybe a good dose of reality TV will cheer me up.

Finally - Getting Started

Sha-whewwwww....as my niece used to say...I'm finally getting the blog off the ground.  I have started and stopped a few times already, trying to get this juuuust perfect.   Huh.  Yeah.  Still thinking that EVERYTHING I do has to be perfect or something bad will happen.

At least - that's what my black dog keeps telling me. 

And this ain't the black dog that's soooo friendly, as in the restaurant, or in the big calm black lab that saves somebody from drowning in the big lake.  No, my black dog is the voice inside my head that tells me I'm somehow never good /talented / pretty / smart / clever enough for ...someone.  Usually me.  Because really?  No one else is judging me as harshly as I'm judging myself.  

But more about the black dog later.  (I think most women have an internal black dog so hopefully some readers can relate).

So, this is all part of the plan to launch a blog and an Etsy site and a website and an eBay store and links to cool sites and favorite blogs.  For my second life as a successful, well-known multi-media artist.

Of course, to have a second life you have to have a first life, which I do - I work for Huge McNormous Corporation, as a Sr. Director of Corporate Stuff.   And most of the time I feel that I'm making a difference.   But looking into the future, I really want to do something that I love - to have that wonder of waking up in the morning anxious to get to work because it's fun, not because I have so many meetings to wade through, or issues to handle.

This will be my story and my journey as I try to create a business to enjoy in the future.