My Mom Is Getting Shorter

So I picked Mom up on Friday for a week of Grandma Summer Camp here in NC.  And she's getting shorter, as if she wasn't already qualified to be the grandma on a TLC show.

Also, I have a new Travel Rule based on the six flights in three days that I completed on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

So much to post - pay attention!

First - Mom.  She'll be here allllllllll week.  Yep.  I get to spend 9 days with her, all 4'9" of her spunky, over 85-yr-old self (she won't let me publish her age :)).   Lots of stories to come, most of which I've heard.  And heard, and heard and did I tell you that already, Honey?

*CAVEAT to the Karma peeps:  I love my mom, I'm very extremely lucky that I still have her, and that she is in pretty good shape both physically and mentally - lives alone! - and really happy to have the opportunity for GSC.  So whatever I post about any 'fun' or 'issues' or 'humor' this week - just remember that, ok?  Don't send me posts trying to make me feel guilty that I intend to mine some humor here, right people?

Thanks.  Just in case you forget - I'll post a little acronym at times - ILMMIKS86GOMB.  ( I love my mom I know she's 86 get off my back).  Right.  Ok.  Back to the movie.

Anyway - she started out life at about 5'2" and I think she's down to about 4'9."  I have to go measure.   But she's napping on the couch, after we had a slight tiff about her nutritional habits.  Yes, I'm arguing with her about her eating - she only wants the "smallest, teeniest, little half-bowl of soup for lunch.  With a few crackers.  That's all, honey - I'm so full from breakfast."

Actually, she did have breakfast.  And a handful of crackers.  And some chocolate.  And a few cookies.  And some hummus.  And some more crackers.  And some pretzels stuffed with cheese product.  And another half cookie.  And one grape (because I bugged her to have fruit).

Washed down with some iced tea.

All of which raised her blood sugar quickly, and then caused her to fall asleep on the couch.  After which, she'll wake up, and we'll start the argument around dinner - because she'll only want the smallest, teeniest bite of meat, and two spoonfuls of maybe some applesauce.

But then she and Mr. Lulu will be snackin' away on the couch after dinner........

Why?  Why?  Other people have moms who start an entirely new business at age 75 and leave their kids a gozillion bucks.  Mine - is channeling a skinny teenager who thinks she's too fat but will eat junk food.  Didn't I already go through this with two daughters???  What's next - diet pills??  If she eats any less or loses any more weight this week, I'll be able to cash in that return plane ticket and have her sit on my lap.

Hmmm.....Mom, did I mention that those grapes have extra fat in them??

ILMMIKS86GOMB.

Deep breath in, hold it hold it.......annnnnnnd....let it out.  Wooooosaaaaaa.

So - a new travel rule.  Change of topic.

Again - the theme is Be Curious....

Mr. Traveler?  When you use the back of the airplane seat to leverage yourself in and out of your seat and then you lean on it sooo heavily, and let it go, be curious about the type of x-rays that will be needed to diagnose whiplash for the person sitting in that seat as their head boings around.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying......

It's the Cheesiest

Because his identity is protected by the shades, I have to show off a picture of the boy that always makes me grin, even on the worst of days.  This was taken when he visited Lulu and Papa this summer for two weeks.

Isn't he great?  That's a big juicy Velveeta-y smile.

He's loving and funny and articulate and smart.  Of course, he's only 4, so he's also often dirty, smelly, obsessed with farts and his personal light saber - you know which one, the 'saber' with which all boys are enamored, big or small.

In short, he's a well-adjusted little boy.

So it's heartbreaking and irritating that he's already been labeled by the school system.  Well, by Montessori anyway, which as I understand it, is some kind of system.  Or cult. 

His mom was sent a 200-item 'report card' prior to Parent-Teacher conferences this week.  Seriously?  200?  Did he pick up the blue crayon instead of the purple crayon?  Did he not show enough interest in the child-sized dustpan?  Did he look away when yet another teacher spoke of the need to 'interact appropriately with his peers?'  Probably...apparently, he's also showing too much imagination because he loves Thomas the Tank Engine.

Really.

This child is lovingly and well-parented by our daughter and son-in-law.  Both work full-time and are very smart/busy/funny/articulate as well.  Yes, they've chosen to send him to this particular Montessori, and would like for him to have a challenging, warm environment in which to grow.  But again - 200???

Here is a quote from the North American Montessori Teachers site "In the calm, ordered space of the Montessori prepared environment, children work on activities of their own choice at their own pace.  They experience a blend of freedom and self-discipline in a place especially designed to meet their development needs."

"...of their own choice, at their own pace....freedom and self-discipline."

I have to wonder.....have these wonderfully earnest Montessori teachers ever stopped to ponder the delicious irony of grading a 4-year-old on activities of their own choice, and freedom and self-discipline? 

 If he's not showing interest in any of the activities - shouldn't he be the class Valedictorian for truly setting his own pace?

I'm not saying, I'm just saying.....