I'm off to Germany to celebrate St. Pat's Day

How's that for a theme party?

Only I'm not going to party but to work, so I'm not even sure that there will be green hats or wigs or leprechauns or shamrocks....but I'm sure there will be beer. Maybe even some green beer. Or red and black beer. And lederhosen. Yah Yah! Prost!

I'm ready, except for the final packing. I have to travel a lot so I'm pretty good at the packing thing by now after almost 2 million flight miles in 15 years, but this trip, I'm really trying to cut back a bit. It's still cold and snowy in Germany so I'm dragging winter clothes but trying to take lots of tanks/tees/layering things that pack easier than heavy sweaters.

Siggghhhhhhh......

300 pins into the Winter voodoo doll!!!

I hope that it's spring by the time I get back - 11 days from now! - and that you're all in your Easter bonnets....

BTW - the dress turned out FABYOUULUSSSSS!! I can only claim a consulting credit as my friend did all the work because I had to travel but hey - I finished the zipper! Photos to follow....just too tired tonight.

And because I'm not sure how much I'll be able to post from across the big pond, you should really follow The MarriedGeeks on their 3-4 month adventure in Beijing - so cool...

My Mom Is Getting Shorter

So I picked Mom up on Friday for a week of Grandma Summer Camp here in NC.  And she's getting shorter, as if she wasn't already qualified to be the grandma on a TLC show.

Also, I have a new Travel Rule based on the six flights in three days that I completed on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

So much to post - pay attention!

First - Mom.  She'll be here allllllllll week.  Yep.  I get to spend 9 days with her, all 4'9" of her spunky, over 85-yr-old self (she won't let me publish her age :)).   Lots of stories to come, most of which I've heard.  And heard, and heard and did I tell you that already, Honey?

*CAVEAT to the Karma peeps:  I love my mom, I'm very extremely lucky that I still have her, and that she is in pretty good shape both physically and mentally - lives alone! - and really happy to have the opportunity for GSC.  So whatever I post about any 'fun' or 'issues' or 'humor' this week - just remember that, ok?  Don't send me posts trying to make me feel guilty that I intend to mine some humor here, right people?

Thanks.  Just in case you forget - I'll post a little acronym at times - ILMMIKS86GOMB.  ( I love my mom I know she's 86 get off my back).  Right.  Ok.  Back to the movie.

Anyway - she started out life at about 5'2" and I think she's down to about 4'9."  I have to go measure.   But she's napping on the couch, after we had a slight tiff about her nutritional habits.  Yes, I'm arguing with her about her eating - she only wants the "smallest, teeniest, little half-bowl of soup for lunch.  With a few crackers.  That's all, honey - I'm so full from breakfast."

Actually, she did have breakfast.  And a handful of crackers.  And some chocolate.  And a few cookies.  And some hummus.  And some more crackers.  And some pretzels stuffed with cheese product.  And another half cookie.  And one grape (because I bugged her to have fruit).

Washed down with some iced tea.

All of which raised her blood sugar quickly, and then caused her to fall asleep on the couch.  After which, she'll wake up, and we'll start the argument around dinner - because she'll only want the smallest, teeniest bite of meat, and two spoonfuls of maybe some applesauce.

But then she and Mr. Lulu will be snackin' away on the couch after dinner........

Why?  Why?  Other people have moms who start an entirely new business at age 75 and leave their kids a gozillion bucks.  Mine - is channeling a skinny teenager who thinks she's too fat but will eat junk food.  Didn't I already go through this with two daughters???  What's next - diet pills??  If she eats any less or loses any more weight this week, I'll be able to cash in that return plane ticket and have her sit on my lap.

Hmmm.....Mom, did I mention that those grapes have extra fat in them??

ILMMIKS86GOMB.

Deep breath in, hold it hold it.......annnnnnnd....let it out.  Wooooosaaaaaa.

So - a new travel rule.  Change of topic.

Again - the theme is Be Curious....

Mr. Traveler?  When you use the back of the airplane seat to leverage yourself in and out of your seat and then you lean on it sooo heavily, and let it go, be curious about the type of x-rays that will be needed to diagnose whiplash for the person sitting in that seat as their head boings around.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying......

Happy Summer Vacation!

....to everyone else.  whine whine even though I already had my thelmaandlouise trip with myfriendTeri and a week with wonder grandson....whine whine woe is me.

There's something about Independence Day that makes me want to be back in school again just so that I can be out of school for summer vacation.

Unfortunately, I have to travel all week for work, so I have to leave later today on a flight on a holiday weekend.  again with the whining.  

Oh well.  My good friends will be here at the end of the week for a short visit and I will wring every bit o' fun and goodness from them.

And I have AGT to look forward to, and that should help me through the week as well.  Please note this week's video - this girl's voice is incredible.  I defy you not to get a little goosebumply.

So also see the new more More MORE link on the roll over there to the right - hopefully it will spark some watercooler talk for you this week.  It concerns an article titled Women Aren’t Getting Their Fair Share of the Stimulus Package by Dr. Susan Love.  

Have a great week y'all!  Hopefully I can get to everyone's blog and post up a bit - depends on the connectivity in the hotel....

Travel Rules

And that title doesn't have an exclamation point after it.  I'm not saying, "Travel RULES!!!"   I'm actually offering up some helpful observations and tips as we head into the traditional vacation season.  If you fly for work or fun this season, here are some road warrior handy hints (said with a bright shiny snarky talk show hostess smile and tone after just having gotten off a plane)......

Be curious!  When everyone is standing in a loooong line to check in at the airport and there are...oh...I don't know - eight open kiosks available with a big sign that says "Step up here to check your bags and get your boarding pass" - you might want to be curious and check it out! Seriously, I know that you may not have flown since 1970 and you're proclaiming loudly to your wife that you KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING and YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE GIRL CALLS US OVER and THOSE MACHINES ARE FOR COMPUTER PEOPLE but trust me, a curious nature will help in this situation!

This curiosity can carry over to the security line as well!  There are big signs posted telling you what to do and what to put into the bins and where you should line up.  Read and ask questions if you're not sure.  Also, when the TSA tells you to take your shoes and your belt off and put them in the bin, don't get mad and proclaim WHAT'S THE MATTER and WHAT - YOU THINK I'M A TERRORIST? and WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THAT - the TSAs do not care that you may not have done this before and that you are just a grandparent trying to get to your granddaughter's graduation and they WILL make you go through the strip search.

Ah yes.  The TSAs.  Their job is to make sure that we are all safe from those who would do us harm and for the most part, they are a professional lot.  HOWEVER - you there, Mr. Big Guy Couldn't Run Down the Donut Vendor Much Less a Terrorist..... - Seriously?  Why are you so deliberately brusque with that lady in the wheelchair who can't hear or walk very well??  Is this how you treat your parents or grandparents?  Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't find any stats where Aunt Bee hid explosives in her updo and took out a 747.  A little more kindness and a little less control freakiness would go a long way!

Next - a little fashion tip.  Pajamas, men's tank tops, Bill Clinton's running shorts - all Glamour Don'ts.  I beg you - don't.  And as you never know how long you might be delayed on the plane, please don't forget to shower before you leave home - think of the person squashed into the seat next to you for four stinky hours.

Unless I make eye contact and ask you to sit next to me and tell me about your ex-husband's dog-grooming tax issues, please don't.

Don't drink yourself silly in the airport and then sit in the exit row.  Remember when being the safety monitor in grade school was an honor and act accordingly.

Don't push your seat back as far as it can go and into my lap - I'm already married.

Don't put your sweater into the overhead bin, shut the bin door, and then get mad when a fellow passenger attempts to put a computer bag in the same bin.  Your sweater will survive, I promise.  

But -Mr. Business Man with the oh-so-important computer bag / carry-on luggage?  We ALL need to use the space underneath the seat -  so don't crush that violin case / wedding dress / military dress uniform that's been carefully placed on top of all the other luggage with your second bag.  Suck it up and put it under the seat.

Also, don't attempt to jam your oversized bag into the bin, slam the door on it 10 times, swear, give up, throw yourself into your seat angrily and leave it to the flight attendant to find a way to make it fit.    

Flight attendants - you chose this job.  Please don't take your frustration out on us, the paying customers.  Unless we're drunk/self-important/threatening stupid jerks.  Then, have at it.

And you, young strong businessboy guy - when you see grandma or grandpa struggling to get their bag into the overhead bin, give them a hand.  Pay it forward a bit.

Thank the attendants and the pilots.  Every time.  Like anesthesiologists, they have jobs that consist of long periods of routine punctuated by extreme MOMENTS OF PANIC - and we need to appreciate their cool under pressure.

Venting lecture over.  Peace out.

Lulu's Baaaaack!!!

hi hi Hi Hi HI HI HIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!

Hellooooooooo......

I'm back, all you deckster hippy blogsters and twitters :)!

After utilizing every current form of transportation known to mankind - except for a rickshaw and a glider - I'm home after 8 days of living out of a suitcase.

Planes, rental cars, trains, subways, taxis, a ferry, a bus and my own legs - walking ACROSS THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE no less - all moved me about in various cities and states and locations.  I worked, I met, I conferenced, I ate, I drank adult bevvies, I had addies, I shopped, I walked and rode and drove and flew.

But no blogging.  I could see all y'all, but couldn't comment or post to my own blog - sooooo very frustrating!  The IT department at Huge McNormous is gooood.  And I'm not complaining really - I'm glad that they're protecting me from viruses and evil spammers and the potential that someone will steal my computer and download porn (really.  that's one of their biggest fears.)  - it's just that I feel really far behind, and need to get caught up out there in cyberspace.

Unfortunately, I won't have a lot of time this week, as I'm hosting my entire staff at my home tomorrow night for a department dinner so I'm cleaning and polishing and dusting.  At least all the places that someone is likely to see......my husband thinks I should just clean the kitchen and the bathroom because those are the only places that people hang out during dinner.  But I'LL know that it's dusty in the corners of the upstairs bedroom and it will bug me.

Also, in-laws coming at the end of the week for a week - cleaning needs ramped up even more.

But I'm back!  I'm coming to comment on your blogs!  Please give me a shout-out to let me know that you're still with me!!!