Must.....drink.....

...water, of course...

It's 99 degrees here today, with 110 degree heat index. Which apparently means that you need to time your egg-frying-on-the-sidewalk according to a bit stronger heat, because it feels like 110. Not 99. Because they're so different.

Right.

All I know is that I was sure happy that I took a shower and put on lotion before I went to the 5:00 pm baseball game! Let me just say that it was hard to be all clappy for the boys with the bats when I was sliding out of my seat, with all that nice lotion sweating off me. And surrounded by folks who decided to forego the shower. And the deodorant.

But hey! Here's something that will cool you off nicely! Head over to The Fifty Factor - yay!!! A Giveaway! Free Stuff! No sweating, no clunker exchange, no refinancing needed!!

My blog hipster friend Joanna has hit 100 posts and she's gifting US!

Now for that - I can be clappy and throw out a few sweaty OTTs. Go Jo!

Sad Tears, Happy Tears and PHLEGM

Hi. HI! HIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

I'm back! I had to fly Mom home, and then turned around and jumped on another plane to travel for Monday/Tuesday, had a work dinner last night and I'm FINALLY back!

I'm bezhausted, but I'm here.

So. The post below has been sitting in my draft file since last Saturday. I couldn't finish it originally because I was crying so hard that my contacts got all cloudy and my nose was running onto the keyboard and I hate phlegm. In fact, I hate the word phlegm. PHlegm. Flemm. Flemmmm. Ick. Even the word sounds icky. Yikes, when people hawk up something from their lungs that sounds like it's been there for 20 years....wait, wait. Wrong post. Anyway. Lulu digressing again, to keep from crying.

I don't usually write posts this long, but even after letting this one sit for a while, I still want to put it out there. You'll see why....

So I just got back from flying Mom home after her week with us, and I'm feeling pretty blue. At this point, I never know if she'll make it back another time, and I hate those goodbyes. We had a very nice week, even though she still has that momadar - you know, that radar that makes her ears quiver, I swear! - when she knows that I'm trying to hide something from her. So every time I tried to slip away and blog, she would come upstairs to see what I was doing and hello! - she still reads just fine. So I had to shut down for a bit. I didn't want her to think that I was writing about her, c'mon. ILMMIKS86GOMB.

And after a day or two - I just focused on her and our time together anyway. It was interesting to see how my world slowed down a bit as I postponed blogging and crafting and watching reality TV for a week, just to be with her. And it was good for both of us. We mostly hung out at home, just talking....I was even finding old pictures for her to view, hoping that the pictures and places would tease out stories, even if I've heard them before. Several times. :) But you know, I'll be even more sad when I can't hear her voice anymore....

We shopped, had mani-pedis, did lunch, had dinner with some old friends, shopped, hung out, and shopped. And we did make her watch AGT, although 'make' would be a strong word. It's not like I tied her to the couch or anything - she's tiny enough to slip the ropes :), but she got right into the spirit of it anyway.

I think she finally relaxed by the end of the week. Which is why I hate thinking of her alone again at home.

She was a bit nervous when she got here, and it irritated me at first - she steps aside for everyone as we walk through the airport or the mall, she apologizes for everything, even when there is nothing that she's done to warrant blame. She's always been so feisty and tough - most people would describe her as a firecracker, full of energy. I hate to see her subvert that part of her personality.

The problem is that there are people in her life, that want her to damp down her personality, to make her be quiet, to stop working and stop trying to please people, to stop trying to take care of everyone. People that seem to take pleasure in being mean to her, deliberately mean, just because they can, because she's more vulnerable now as it's harder for her to hear, and maybe she repeats herself more often than they would like. She can't really fight back against their harsh words, because she thinks if she were just different or better, maybe they wouldn't be mad at her.

And I know that no one's perfect - my mom would not describe herself as the perfect June Cleaver mom by any means. If she'd been born in a different place and time, she might have pursued different challenges in life - I could definitely see her as a CEO! But she was - and still defines herself as a teacher, even at her age, and that's important to her. She's done the best she can to be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a sibling, a friend, based on her experiences and talent and strengths and with how she was raised - just like everyone else in life!

I watch her, watching me talk, or watching the manicurist or the salesperson or the TSA at the airport - and every day, she's trying to reassimilate into a world that's increasingly bewildering and harder to comprehend, and she's doing a pretty damn good job.

But as I write this, the tears are flowing because I can't keep her safe from those who will hurt her, as of course! - those hurtful words aren't said in front of me, and she doesn't want me to take them on because it will make matters worse.

Here's my warning to them, not that they'll find me here, but still.

Step back from the Mom. Hear me? Let me repeat myself. Just step away, leave her alone and nobody gets hurt. If I hear of one more word, one more exasperated sigh, one more mean-spirited comment - I will cut loose on you. You will be very very sorry. I know things about you, things that you do not want to get out. You will regret it.

OK. Got it out. Thanks for listening.

Now on to the happy tears - my niece delivered the twins....and they ARRRRREEEE.....boys. Yup, two good-sized boys. So no one was baby psychic except W, who said that each one would be a baby. YAYYYYYYYYY!!! Happy Dance, OTT, Woo HOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Hey. Did I mention that I'm back?

My Mom Is Getting Shorter

So I picked Mom up on Friday for a week of Grandma Summer Camp here in NC.  And she's getting shorter, as if she wasn't already qualified to be the grandma on a TLC show.

Also, I have a new Travel Rule based on the six flights in three days that I completed on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

So much to post - pay attention!

First - Mom.  She'll be here allllllllll week.  Yep.  I get to spend 9 days with her, all 4'9" of her spunky, over 85-yr-old self (she won't let me publish her age :)).   Lots of stories to come, most of which I've heard.  And heard, and heard and did I tell you that already, Honey?

*CAVEAT to the Karma peeps:  I love my mom, I'm very extremely lucky that I still have her, and that she is in pretty good shape both physically and mentally - lives alone! - and really happy to have the opportunity for GSC.  So whatever I post about any 'fun' or 'issues' or 'humor' this week - just remember that, ok?  Don't send me posts trying to make me feel guilty that I intend to mine some humor here, right people?

Thanks.  Just in case you forget - I'll post a little acronym at times - ILMMIKS86GOMB.  ( I love my mom I know she's 86 get off my back).  Right.  Ok.  Back to the movie.

Anyway - she started out life at about 5'2" and I think she's down to about 4'9."  I have to go measure.   But she's napping on the couch, after we had a slight tiff about her nutritional habits.  Yes, I'm arguing with her about her eating - she only wants the "smallest, teeniest, little half-bowl of soup for lunch.  With a few crackers.  That's all, honey - I'm so full from breakfast."

Actually, she did have breakfast.  And a handful of crackers.  And some chocolate.  And a few cookies.  And some hummus.  And some more crackers.  And some pretzels stuffed with cheese product.  And another half cookie.  And one grape (because I bugged her to have fruit).

Washed down with some iced tea.

All of which raised her blood sugar quickly, and then caused her to fall asleep on the couch.  After which, she'll wake up, and we'll start the argument around dinner - because she'll only want the smallest, teeniest bite of meat, and two spoonfuls of maybe some applesauce.

But then she and Mr. Lulu will be snackin' away on the couch after dinner........

Why?  Why?  Other people have moms who start an entirely new business at age 75 and leave their kids a gozillion bucks.  Mine - is channeling a skinny teenager who thinks she's too fat but will eat junk food.  Didn't I already go through this with two daughters???  What's next - diet pills??  If she eats any less or loses any more weight this week, I'll be able to cash in that return plane ticket and have her sit on my lap.

Hmmm.....Mom, did I mention that those grapes have extra fat in them??

ILMMIKS86GOMB.

Deep breath in, hold it hold it.......annnnnnnd....let it out.  Wooooosaaaaaa.

So - a new travel rule.  Change of topic.

Again - the theme is Be Curious....

Mr. Traveler?  When you use the back of the airplane seat to leverage yourself in and out of your seat and then you lean on it sooo heavily, and let it go, be curious about the type of x-rays that will be needed to diagnose whiplash for the person sitting in that seat as their head boings around.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying......

More Giveaway Winners!!!

Hey there - all you wonderful fives and eights!!  

Time to give away free subscriptions to MORE Magazine!!

Guess what?  EVERYone who joined the giveaway fun wins!!  Six free subscriptions go out to Wendi, Diane, FlyingPinto, Insanity Kim, Little Ms Blogger and Sandi from LuckyThirteenandCounting because CraezieLady nominated her.

You all rock!  See my info?  Over there, on the right?  That's where you need to go - immediately - find my email address and send me your names and addresses so I can get your digits to the awesome Aziza, my More contact.

Woot!  OTT!  FAAAAAAAB yew lusssssss!!

Enjoy - Lu

NC Triangle Street Etsy Team

Hey - I snagged an Etsy Treasury for my NC Triangle team - check it out!

For those of you not as familiar with Etsy - you need to sit, staring at your screen, hands hovering over your keyboard, for an opening in the list of Treasuries to clear.....trembling hands, waiting, waiting...YES!  There's the box, saying, "List your title here..,"  and I swear - I'm either too competitive or have had too much coffee (both far too likely) but I'm as excited as if I'd won the Tour de France.

:)

Only without the physical, sweaty, mountain-climbing, dangerous political bike riding stuff.

More Giveaway

Ummm.  Ok.  I'm going to assume that everyone is on vacation or just only blogging to themselves or just not READING!! 

Did I mention FREE?

more More MORE Giveaway!!!

Woo Hooooooooo!!!!  Niiiiiiiiiiiiice..SuWEET!.  Score, babee!!!  Booo YAH!

O.T.T. (clap) O.T.T. (clap) O.T.T. (clap) Optional Toe Touch!!

No, I didn't sell out the store, but I did score.  Well, you, my lovely fives and tens - you have scored.  Because the peeps over at More magazine  have given me the opportunity to give away 5 free subscriptions to the magazine.

And I know that it seems a bit strange that a blogster like me would push a paper reading thing to online friends...but they have a website too!

And really sometimes, you just need to tote the magazine along to have something cool to read while on the run.  Like, to the beach or on the plane or waiting in line for your kids to come out of school or instead of TV or while you're having a colonoscopy or waiting for your plastic surgery to dry or something.

Seriously, I am a bit of a magazine junky, but I do love this magazine.  I've read my way through many other women's magazines over the years, but this has some staying power, for women of all ages, but especially for the over 40 crew.  And of course, 40 is the new 30, so see - all ages.

Check it out - go here to cruise their website.  Or just take my word for it.

Either way, post up here, and let me know if you want a FREE subscription.  Or if you want it to go to someone else!  See what a giver I am?  Or they are or we are, or something.

That's all you have to do.  Just post a comment, and tell me you totally want it.  In a week (to be exact, next week on Tuesday, during AGT, I will pick out five names. let you know how to get your info to me and that's it.

OTT!!

Flirty Girls

Yup...time to plug the store a bit.  Mr. Lulu is threatening to blockade the crafty wagon train when it makes another delivery.  ( I still contend that the additional buttons last week were a NEED and not a WANT, but ok, yeah, the mortgage and insurance and payments and whatnot are important too, I suppose.)

So I need to sell a few of these little beauties once in a while to feed the crafty pig.

That's the piggy bank, right?  Not talking about Mr. Lulu. ;) 

Check me out in the etsy store - yup, over there, on the right.  Tell your friends and family!  Send them my way!  Always a family discount for my decksters and bloglackers.

I've just posted a slew of button art cards.  They are the size of a playing card, with paints, inks and pieces of sewing patterns.  There are vintage '60's images on the front of each card, along with buttons that are hand-sewn.  The back has fabric and more flirty, fashiony images.  

So yeah.  Please stop by.  Thank you for your patronage.

Hey B's - I'm back!

Yoiks.....it was a really really looooong week at the Huge HQ.  Mix a group of corporate employees with non-U.S. CEOs and CFOs and C-Schmoes with a slurp of mandatory training issues seasoned with cafeteria food, surrounded by early wake-up calls and late night dinners....it was NOT the beach.

And I didn't have the energy to get online at midnight and fight the IT barbed wires to throw some comments over the firewall....so I slacked.  Yes, Slacker be my name.

Or would it be Bloglacker?

Whatever.

And so much went on while I was gone!  It's like that scene in 'Pretty Woman'  when Kit is trying to tell Vivian why it took her so long to get over to the Beverly Hills Wiltshire hotel - you know, "Skinny Marie got cut up and we had to go see her in the hospital, and Jimmy got in a fight and someone tried to work my star on the Walk of Fame...."

Only in the blog world, You Mama won a cool giveaway, but also gave away some birth control gum, and AmyKate poked a hole in the pool but the garden's coming along, and Joanna's been hanging out with her BFF and omg - Libby's adopted a baby girl!!

So at least - they kept the blog world spinning.

I came home and some of MY BFFs were here, on their way further down the coast for a beach vacation next week.  MyfriendsJenGuyBeazerLou - yeah.  They rock.  The time together was short but sweet - have fun myfriends!

And last....to Facebook and Twitter or not to....to horribly misquote Shakespeare.  That is the question.  Discuss amongst the comments.

Of course, please check out Grandma Lee!

Happy Summer Vacation!

....to everyone else.  whine whine even though I already had my thelmaandlouise trip with myfriendTeri and a week with wonder grandson....whine whine woe is me.

There's something about Independence Day that makes me want to be back in school again just so that I can be out of school for summer vacation.

Unfortunately, I have to travel all week for work, so I have to leave later today on a flight on a holiday weekend.  again with the whining.  

Oh well.  My good friends will be here at the end of the week for a short visit and I will wring every bit o' fun and goodness from them.

And I have AGT to look forward to, and that should help me through the week as well.  Please note this week's video - this girl's voice is incredible.  I defy you not to get a little goosebumply.

So also see the new more More MORE link on the roll over there to the right - hopefully it will spark some watercooler talk for you this week.  It concerns an article titled Women Aren’t Getting Their Fair Share of the Stimulus Package by Dr. Susan Love.  

Have a great week y'all!  Hopefully I can get to everyone's blog and post up a bit - depends on the connectivity in the hotel....