The refrigerator refuses to fridge OR re-fridge and the freezer refuses to freeze. (Why does the REfridgerator have to re-. Why isn't it just the frigerator? Isn't the food cool to begin with, giving it a chance to spoil and poison me, and that's why you have to put it into the fridge? Why does the right side have to keep REdoing what it does, while the left side just does it once and maintains?)
Either way, the friggin' box isn't cooling or freezing. For a while there, it was a bit schizo, with the freezer thawing and the fridge freezing. But now, it's just decided to crap out altogether.
And do you think that we can find the stupid receipt for the extended warranty? Of course not. The ONE TIME that we do purchase the extended warranty, we cannot find it.
I have grocery receipts for 2001. I have tax records going back 10 years, 3 years over the recommended saving limit, I have 20-year-old counted cross-stitch patterns, I have my husband's old high school yearbooks AND his shotglass from his college fraternity (I Felta Thigh, I think it was called). I have my third-grade report card, my daughter's third-grade Mother's Day macaroni necklace, 12 separate sets of mortgage refinancing documents, notes from high school BFFs, copies of checks going back to 1994, my size 2 pants from the 30 seconds that I fit into them back in 2002.
I have receipts for 5 separate toasters, none of which I still have. I might even still have the top from my wedding cake, 24 years later. In fact, with the amount of stuff I have saved, I almost qualify for my own TLC show on hoarding.
But no warranty receipt for the now-non-refrigerator.
Mr. Lulu is downstairs, alternately swearing at the phone where he's been on hold and ignore for the last 15 minutes with a major U.S. appliance company whose big shiny box is currently NOT bringing any good things to life in our kitchen except for the giant ants behind it (yup, we're having a late summer insect infestion as the topper to our day) and trying to vacuum behind the nonrefrigerator.
Me? I ran upstairs to blog about it, of course.
