"" Lulu's Sandbar: My Mom Is Getting Shorter
Welcome to my sand bar - trying to push past my boundaries and serve up humorous observations on life...

Sunday, July 26, 2009

My Mom Is Getting Shorter

So I picked Mom up on Friday for a week of Grandma Summer Camp here in NC.  And she's getting shorter, as if she wasn't already qualified to be the grandma on a TLC show.

Also, I have a new Travel Rule based on the six flights in three days that I completed on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

So much to post - pay attention!

First - Mom.  She'll be here allllllllll week.  Yep.  I get to spend 9 days with her, all 4'9" of her spunky, over 85-yr-old self (she won't let me publish her age :)).   Lots of stories to come, most of which I've heard.  And heard, and heard and did I tell you that already, Honey?

*CAVEAT to the Karma peeps:  I love my mom, I'm very extremely lucky that I still have her, and that she is in pretty good shape both physically and mentally - lives alone! - and really happy to have the opportunity for GSC.  So whatever I post about any 'fun' or 'issues' or 'humor' this week - just remember that, ok?  Don't send me posts trying to make me feel guilty that I intend to mine some humor here, right people?

Thanks.  Just in case you forget - I'll post a little acronym at times - ILMMIKS86GOMB.  ( I love my mom I know she's 86 get off my back).  Right.  Ok.  Back to the movie.

Anyway - she started out life at about 5'2" and I think she's down to about 4'9."  I have to go measure.   But she's napping on the couch, after we had a slight tiff about her nutritional habits.  Yes, I'm arguing with her about her eating - she only wants the "smallest, teeniest, little half-bowl of soup for lunch.  With a few crackers.  That's all, honey - I'm so full from breakfast."

Actually, she did have breakfast.  And a handful of crackers.  And some chocolate.  And a few cookies.  And some hummus.  And some more crackers.  And some pretzels stuffed with cheese product.  And another half cookie.  And one grape (because I bugged her to have fruit).

Washed down with some iced tea.

All of which raised her blood sugar quickly, and then caused her to fall asleep on the couch.  After which, she'll wake up, and we'll start the argument around dinner - because she'll only want the smallest, teeniest bite of meat, and two spoonfuls of maybe some applesauce.

But then she and Mr. Lulu will be snackin' away on the couch after dinner........

Why?  Why?  Other people have moms who start an entirely new business at age 75 and leave their kids a gozillion bucks.  Mine - is channeling a skinny teenager who thinks she's too fat but will eat junk food.  Didn't I already go through this with two daughters???  What's next - diet pills??  If she eats any less or loses any more weight this week, I'll be able to cash in that return plane ticket and have her sit on my lap.

Hmmm.....Mom, did I mention that those grapes have extra fat in them??


Deep breath in, hold it hold it.......annnnnnnd....let it out.  Wooooosaaaaaa.

So - a new travel rule.  Change of topic.

Again - the theme is Be Curious....

Mr. Traveler?  When you use the back of the airplane seat to leverage yourself in and out of your seat and then you lean on it sooo heavily, and let it go, be curious about the type of x-rays that will be needed to diagnose whiplash for the person sitting in that seat as their head boings around.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying......


The Flying Pinto said...

Sounds like you'll have a great week with your mom...lol....my Nana shrunk too!! My mom used to say she was gonna disappear before she died! looking forward to the posts!!

And, yes...agree with your newest travel rule! Maybe people should start billing those folks for the chiropractor they now have to see: )

AmyK said...

I love your Mom already. I can't wait to hear more stories about your adventures. We in NC love to have relative come visit. Mine just did too.

diane said...

That's hilarious about the eating thing. My mom was like that too, before she died. What? I'm off your back.
Side note: Thanks so much for your nice comments, they made my day. xo

Amber Dawn said...

Ever tell you about the time me and my Grammy went on vaca together and she so delicately and slowly ate her meals and carefully only ate a few snippets of snacks and such and then at three AM would be up stealing fro the bag of tater chips we bough to share-with her hearing aid out-thinking all that bag crinkling wasn't loud enough to wake me up. LOL. At least your Mom blatently snacks in front of you.

Joanna Jenkins said...

And one grape (because I bugged her to have fruit).

I think my mother and your mother are twins!!!!

Good luck, I mean, have fun!


Lulu said...

Thanks all y'all....we're hanging in there.

Anonymous said...

That's so funny! I love your mom's eating habits! One grape! Sounds like me!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

"ILMMIKS86GOMB" Classic! I'm getting shorter too. My kids keep getting taller. My Oldest Daughter is as tall as I am and she's only 14. ::sigh::

I don't know how you travel. I used to do it when I had patience. I have none now.


Green-Eyed Momster said...

I know that last sentence is poor grammar. I just can't let it go, like a typo.

s/b I don't have any patience anymore.

I feel better!


Insanity Kim said...

Hey at least it seems you're getting her to eat past 4 pm! That's a good thing!!

Oh man...sooooo many lessons to be taught to people who are allowed on airplanes. I seriously think people need to pass a written or oral test, and then have their temperatures taken. Sigh.

Have fun! YAOTHWMCYAF! (you are off the hook with me 'cause you are funny!)

Lulu said...

You all rock....ILMFAT. I love my fives and tens!

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