"" Lulu's Sandbar: The Gates of Hell...in the chairs
Welcome to my sand bar - trying to push past my boundaries and serve up humorous observations on life...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Gates of Hell...in the chairs

Where?  The Department of Motor Vehicles, of course, more commonly known as the DMV.

So I had to get my license renewed.  Not a big deal, just had to pay, read the letters and the road signs on the viewer, get my picture taken and I'm out of there right?

Not exactly.

First, I had to find the building and then find a parking space, while listening to Edith (the GPS) yell at me for turning the wrong way.  Is the female voice better than the English butler voice?  Discuss.

Ok, then I had to wait in line to listen to the lame DMV jokes that I heard from the same guy - who is 10 years older than God - that I heard when I had to change the address on my license in November so I could vote.  Same guy, same jokes.  I think there's a string in his back that is pulled in the morning so the little recorder in his back will keep repeating the same phrases - like a Chatty Cathy doll only older and creepier.

Waiting in line got me a number, like at the bakery, and I was asked to wait "in the chairs." I was given a card to review the traffic signs.  And it's only 8:30 in the morning, and my number is 115.  And they're only on number 90.  But the weird thing is there are only about 5 other people waiting, and only one person sitting at a cubicle with another DMV guy.  I don't mean to get too mathy, but that.....doesn't quite add up.

And there are a lot of train pictures around....an eerie omen?  You bet.

Hello.  Gates of Hell.  

So I'm waiting in the chairs as requested.  This nice young guy in military garb comes in, gets a number and sits down near me.  He asked where the review cards were located, and I told him to take mine, that I was done with it.

The words are still in a word bubble over my head, and the woman on my other side, says - as if we were in the middle of a conversation - "Yeah, I was in here yesterday?  I had to take a driving test - you know, with a car? - in order to get my license back, and well, bummer but I couldn't because well, my car wouldn't pass the emissions test well actually I hadn't gotten it checked in a while so I had to go do that you know?  Because I really need my license because I need to be in court on Thursday.  So yeah."  And she nods and turns to the woman on her other side, who just sat down.  In the chairs.  Starts to talk to her, same story.

I have to ask - what triggers people to start conversations like that?  In the chairs.


Traceytreasure said...



w said...

then susie was all like, i can't believe you didn't tell me and i was like, shoo. but then the call waiting went off and i was like. i gotta jet.

next time. sit by me. i'll tell you funny stories about the people waiting with us in the chairs.

but then marco was all mad because i didn't order him a cheese sandwich with bacon but i really did. i just ate the bacon is all.

my word verification is tsizing. that's interesting.

diane said...

You must have a friendly face. People pick up on that you know; corny joke people, insane court-date people, omg, I just looked down and saw my word ver. - loseravi - I don't know why, but I think it's a good word for the kind of people you meet at the dmv.

Miss Yvonne said...

When I first moved the Texas, I went to the DMV to get my license and the line was out the door but only about 15 people deep. So I'm thinking, huh this isn't so bad. Yeah, that line was just to get a number. It was 9am and my number was 303.

I still remember that number...it was like my ticket to vehicular hell.

Miss Yvonne said...

Crap. That was supposed to say "when I first moved TO Texas".

Lulu said...

Yes. Completely. Kisses!

W -
Soooo happy to see you and OF COURSE I will sit by you. In the chairs. with tsizing bacon.

Diane -
The weird thing is, I usually am not the friendly person - I don't look anyone in the eye in the airport or wherever, so that I can avoid the loseravi.

Miss Y -
You could TOTALLY move Texas if you wanted to - no matter what number you picked.