So YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The return of "America's Got Talent!" I luuuvvvvvvvvvv this show. Love.it. I'm as excited as a menopausal woman when she hits an unexpected pocket of air conditioning while walking down the strip mall to get to the nail salon.
As I've said before, it's the big block of Velveeta cheezie goodness show......cheezie, hokie and cringe-worthy, with little dancing girls and big singing palookas and would-be magicians, violinists, and nubian beauties doing bohemian African dances, a yodeling dominatrix and a guy who eats light bulbs. It completely improves my addytude.
How could you ever miss this? Yeah, American Idol has the fans and music and stuff - but do they have a 62-year-old tap dancing grocery store clerk?
Or the chicken chaser guy from down south -
When you see him standing on that stage, and you can tell that he genuinely feels talented, and he's nervous but ohhhh...so hopeful. The naked yearning, the vulnerability that shows up on his face when the audience goes quiet - you can almost see him thinking - "Don't let me choke out here - please god, let me make the family and neighbors in Little Poke Tree, Arkansas (pop. 256) proud! Please let me do well enough that even if this is it, this is all I get, that I can hold my head up when I slink back home. I've had this dream for my moment - any moment in the spotlight - for so long.... if it goes bad, I won't even have the dream left..."
And the producers know - they KNOW how to get me, with their side stories and back stories and sad/proud/bad stories, oh yes, they work me every which way from Sunday until I'm just an emotional wreck at the end. But proud - SO proud, to be in an America with such talent.
I cry, I play the drinking game - you know, the one where you have to drink every time 'The Hoff' says "You are what this show is all aBOUUUUUUUT!!" - I laugh, I cringe, I boo.
And then I do it all again the next night.
Seriously, the best escape from summer corporate life EVER.
Warning - I will continue to post video and comments until this season is done. If you're not a fan or not that interested, you can just sit your unAmerican butt over there - there in the corner with the cynical 'Law and Order' rerun watchers. Talk amongst yourselves until the fall - or until there's a winner of Season 4, America's Got Talent.